Poetry through the Seasons of Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Awakening to count sheep
in my pajamas,
unable to replace
bad deeds with good,
I lie to you.
Number three and a handshake,
told in shadows and tones.
Guilt holds me under
‘til my body rises,
pain deep in the center
like a rock.
He takes her
to the hilltop
in chains,
but she won’t listen.
She’s a brick,
all softness gone.
Thin lines,
not always drugs,
prove still addictive
and, having a long time fear of water,
drown me in my own guilt,
calling from the darkness
as I sink below.
expectations
are like handcuffs
with no key
leaving you tied
to your bed in a
compromising position
* * *
I want to grunt
and bury my hands
up to the armpits,
sway my hips
and dance my legs
around you
‘til I’m stained,
past possible
to clean.
Then I’ll come again,
blue and billowy
before you,
push my hair
behind one ear,
you sweet young thing.
So scrubbed
and oh so damaged.
Faded stains,
but never clean.
In different beds,
we dream
the same dream.
Between us,
so dark,
so hidden,
lie lost children’s lives,
mother’s nightmares.
The enemy is
on my doorstep.
I can never be redeemed.
I undress you
for the last time,
for the first time.
Flesh fulfills our destiny.
Then from my arms,
she is stripped,
the beautiful girl,
and I am alone.
Hands join in battle,
friendship,
in love.
Hands move in pairs.
Holy lips bring fire,
burn house down.
Hands touch as lips,
creating great
disturbance.
Armless,
we lose the chance to hug.
In pairs,
we come back.
Alone,
we are fingers.
Together, hands,
joined
to make a difference.
In the tower,
I watch you healing;
it’s a self-served
march to freedom.
Memories, they float
like chocolate,
taste me sweet
inside the mirror.
And I radiate
with power
to the unposed
questions answered,
as the master
turns a cartwheel
to become
the great pretender.
Still the children
won’t forgive me
if you sleep
without your nighty.
Breathing in
the tortured cadence
and I want to take
you with me,
but I’ll stay.
Men are beasts.
Even the good ones
betray.
get away from me
He got mean
and you
loved him still.
Happens all the time.
he’s not
always like this.
Afterwards
he won’t remember.
blueberry kisses
and he’ll protect you.
You watch him sleep
in beastly shivers,
waiting
for the savage
to call your name.
Good and evil battle
like lovers.
She lies still
and he, tortured,
the bloody sword sliding
through her fingers.
As winter snow
brings forth blossoms
pushing hope from the frozen ground,
what was good in him returns.
Breathing his name,
she holds him,
though their time is almost gone.
They kiss, as in a dream,
and say I love you,
but it doesn’t save them.
But, this time,
it does save the world.
close your eyes
and let me guide you to the darkness
No home.
No heart.
No breath.
Just here.
Just barely.
All the blossoms,
all the hope
held so deeply in her heart,
disappear,
as in a rear view mirror,
and leave her standing,
just barely,
and the world keeps turning,
as worlds tend to do.
encased in stone
lie my secrets
in the darkness hides my love
he was no longer the man
she had loved, but now a beast
mocking all she found sacred
making her bleed whenever possible
how she had asked for it by loving him
how she held hands with suffering’s cause
if i am worthy
the stone will soften
and take me with him into hell
she knew he was evil
she had tasted it even before he turned
but had believed love could protect them from the world
the first time he hit her
it felt like betrayal
the second time, punishment
they take your soul
then give it back and call it suffering
she was strong
but the blows damaged her
in places no one could see
she saw
the world’s sorrow
and felt unpure
close your eyes
and let me guide you through the darkness
she was destined
by the suffering
by the suffering in her soul
the demon’s breath
is merely waiting
waiting to inhale
one last time
he calls her name
then returns to
what he was before
a soulless bastard
what they all are
once we give
our love away
* * *
Something wrong upon awakening.
The warm boy missing,
kidnapped perhaps
by his deepest emotion,
frightened perhaps by his soul.
She is aware of nothing
but the afterglow.
The girl
sneaks out a window
to meet her love.
A woman,
by the front door
she returns,
feeling safe for a moment,
then sparks light the atmosphere
as the boy crosses over.
A man takes his place,
filled with passion,
but devoid of kindness.
Emptied of all
that made him a man.
Red is the garden
of my passion.
Ruby slippers crush you
beneath my feet
like raspberries,
luscious, lovely, raspberries.
Devotion divides
light from darkness.
Candles glow, even in the wilderness.
I keep thinking I’ve lost you.
My dress flows like wine
into your glass.
We dream,
our future tied by blood
if not by love,
not anymore.
We flee through
the cold and rain,
seeking comfort,
neither of us knowing
what love means, not before this.
The storm awakens me, screaming
for what might have been.
Blood roses.
I cry your name
one last, lonely time.
Then the world moves on.